Housework and Home

WINTER here in the UK can be cold, dark and dreary . So, my blog today is about things to do and web-sites to visit if you need a little sunshine in your life.

Here are some suggestions to get you out of the doldrums:

1. Invite some friends or family round for the afternoon and hand round cups of steaming hot chocolate with a few marshmallows.Have a large casserole cooking  in the oven. Get out the family board games and enjoy the fun while the lovely aromas waft in from the kitchen, and then all tuck in.

2. Purchase or make one Christmas present for someone important. Wrap and label it. You can even write the Christmas card and put with the gift, or even write all of your Christmas cards and get the stamps. Put the cards by the door, all ready to post in plenty of time.

3. Visit this link for the sweetest, simplest, knitted bunny picture and pattern that's free.

http://www.heartstringsfiberarts.com/bunny-pattern.shtm

4. Rustle up a roast chicken. Jamie Oliver show you how simple and delicious it can be here:

http://www.channel4.com/food/recipes/chefs/jamie-oliver/perfect-roast-chicken-recipe_p_1.html

5. Send a free e-card to someone you love - or lots of people you love. There are lots of safe sites to find. Try Google - or visit this one:

http://www.ecardfriends.com/cgi-bin/ecards.cgi

I hope you enjoy these suggestions, or that they inspire you to think of much better ones of your own.

Happy Winter

Sue Sparkle

Cars? Houses? cash? power? I think it would be true to say that these answers would feature prominently on many people's 'happy' list.

Is it really true? I did some personal research a while ago into  what ACTUALLY made me feel happy. I made a diary and began to discover some surprising results.

The first thing that struck me as I wrote my 'happy' diary, was that it was often not possible to pin down a specific 'moment' or 'thing' that gave me the happy feeling. My happiness seemed to be more a sense of well-being, or peacefulness, and wasn't related to the amount of money I had in the bank or in my purse.

If I bought something for myself, it was fun of course, but I noticed that what gave me a deeper sense of joy and wellbeing nearly always involved other people. Giving an unexpected gift that I knew someone would love or needed was great, and the best part was imagining how the recipient would feel when they received it.

Spending time with the family , laughing and joking, eating together and sharing in their journey here on earth, I realised, was also a rich and amazing experience. This is not without it's challenges LOL! but as the years go by, I'm learn to love and respect their (and my) humanity as they live their lives and face their own challenges along the way.

Try your own 'Happiness' diary and see how your results pan out. And when you've identified what really makes you happy, rather that what you assume does, then you can begin to plan to do more 'happiness-building in your life.

By the way, how many incredibly rich and powerful people are happy because of their wealth and power? You can read about their lives everywhere. The happy ones seem to be those who are pretty grounded and know that people matter more than money.

To me, the people I work with are all equally special, not just the richer or more powerful ones! Each has a speciallness that you will miss if you don't take the time to look. Your neighbours matter, and a smile to a stranger will make you smile on the inside too.

Most of all, your family are your wealth and treasure because you share your life with them. Make sure you appreciate them as you never know when they will be gone. Try not to judge people. It never leaves you with a sense of well-being or peace and you'll only find yourself judging yourself up to others - you won't love yourself much if you do that!

When you make an error, it's simply part of your journey in life - leave it and move on. After all, our humanity is what we all have in common.

I used to think that life was about becoming rich and then spending your money as fast as you can!  It sounds crazy now of course, and a sure-fire way of becoming poor again rather quickly.

In the wisdom that can be an up-side of the ageing process, I've discovered that it's easier to save money by learning good little habits as you go along.

Here are some of my favourites for saving money every month rather than frittering it away and not  knowing quite how you did it.

1. Get smart - don't buy newspapers every day. You can read them online instead.

2.  Wear fingerless gloves around the house in the colder months. You'll be able to type, read and stuff (n best not when chopping veg though). Wollen gloves are much better than acrylic if you can get them. At least when you do put the heating on, you've delayed it a bit. A flask of hot drink will also warm you throughout the day.

3. Cancel your 'Sky' subscription for a month. How much have you saved? How much does that work out for a year? It soon mounts up doesn't it? In the evenings when you'd be watching Sky TV, take up a money-saving hobby like growing some veg, knitting your Birthday and Christmas pressies. Or take up a course with the Open University. In the UK, you can get free funding and support - so have a go.

4. Plan your menus for the week and take the plan with you when you shop. Make your menus quick and simple to prepare so that you won't be tempted to waste money on fatty, salty, take-aways.

5. Get an old-fashioned hot water bottle. Close the curtains at dusk and tuck them in the windowledge so radiator warmth comes into the room unhindered.

I hope some of these are useful to you. It's a great feeling to have money left over each month, even if it's a tiny amount it will add up over time. Instead of panicking when an unexpected expense come your way, you can simply take this cash out of the bank and pay it without a mad panic. That's a great feeling : ))

Here is a short fun list of ideas to get your partner thinking you're the bees knees

1. Spend a little time each day asking him about himself. Favourite books as a child, who he admires, his hopes and dreams, what would he change if he ran the country, and so on. It may take a while to get him sharing these thoughts seriously at first ,but gradually he should open up more and more as he trusts your motives and gets used to talking about things he cares about. This is not an interrogation. LOL Really listen and respect his views even if you don't agree with them, just as you'd like your views respected and listened to.

2. If he bodges up the DIY or forgets something off the shopping list, don't jump down his throat or ridicule him. (I know that's a hard one). Encourage him and build up his self-esteem. We all make mistakes and we get better when we practise. Gradually he will improve if you are genuinely supportive and appreciate his effort. How often have we abandoned something because we just feel useless at at . What would have happened if you did that when you were learning to walk? You persevered and probably had tons of encouragement to keep you trying!

3. Never expect him to buy you the prefect present for your birthday or Christmas. To avoid deep disappointment, it's best to go and buy what you really want and put it away until the special day. If you must send him, first check with the store that it's in stock and give him the product description, price and store name. Tell him to give these details to the shop assistant to locate - and can she please gift-wrap the item while she's at it.

4. Now this may sound a painful one, but actually it can be quite fun once you try it.

Secretly begin to find out about his hobbies and passions. Is it classical music or jazz? Car engines or electrics, Manchester United or Athletics? The more you begin to know about something, the more interesting it becomes. I know a girl who did this and got the bug. She now supports her local football team at all home games and most away fixtures too. Choose an appropriate moment to impress him with your knowledge. Explain the offside rule as if you've known it all your life (doesn't everyone?)

 After trying these ideas out for a while, you may notice that he is more  sensitive, helpful or a better communicator. He might begin to take an interest in the things that are important to you. At the very least, you will have improved your own confidence and communication skills and feel more empowered in your own life.

Let me know how you get on.

SUE SPARKLE

Are you sometimes overwhelmed by those looming problems and situations, from which there seems to be no visible means of escape?

Somehow, you feel so powerless and hopeless about them that your whole life is affected. There simply is NO way forward... is there?

Here are some tried and trusted ideas that have proved successful in my life and that you might like to try out for yourself:

(You can do this on your own, but it's much better if you can find a friend or two to join in.)

Think of one problem that fits into the above category. It could be that you want to find a partner to share your life with, but you don't ever meet any decent prospects at work or the pub. Maybe you want to change your job but don't have the skills, confidence, experience to make a change. Maybe you'd like to study, but you think you're not clever enough and your mind goes  blank every time you open a book. It could be anything as long as it really matters to you and you feel stuck in the hopelessness of it all. Be very specific if you can.

Get a pen and paper at the ready.

Now, you have to come up with ideas that a stranger might come up with to answer your problem. Don't be 'you' for a moment. Somewhere in that problem there is an answer or way forward that you have never seen before. Come up with some weird and wonderful solutions just to get the ball rolling. Ask your friends to come up with novel solutions too. You have to look at things from a completely different perspective.

Some solutions could be to build your self-confidence up in an unrelated area, learn to garden, learn to touch type , help out at a theatre group putting out the chairs or taking ticket money at the door etc. If you're scared of learning, take life into your own hands and begin to learn tiny things, step-by-step. It can be so empowering to do this almost secretly, without the input or approval of others. Make a 'tiny-step' diary for your eyes only. Learning can be done very slowly - and if it takes you a year to learn to type 25 words a minute - that's a complete success!

When you've come up with some ideas, don't make a quick decision. Let the ideas work in your subconscious for a few days. You might find that releasing your problems from the impossible zone will result in more ideas popping up in your head as time goes on.

Why not have a session on problem number two? Whenever you find yourself overwhelmed, remind yourself. There is ALWAYS an answer if I look at it from another angle or point of view.

Happy problem-solving

Sue Sparkle

Just a mini-blog today.

Here are some suggestions for little sort-outs you can achieve if you find yourself with five minutes to spare. All are simple and yet so satisfying; you might allow yourself a smug smile when you're done : -)

1. The sewing box. Now that is such an enjoyable one. Just be careful not to stab yourself with the needles.

2. The in-box. If you haven't got an inbox, then make one. Collect up your mail into one place and go from there.

3. The home-office paper, notebooks and pens/pencils. Toss the stuff that doesn't work and find a use for all the half-used notepaper.

4. One shelf of your food cupboard. Try to limit yourself to one shelf, otherwise you can get overwhelmed.

5. Your toolbox. That's if, of course you have one. If you don't you might consider putting a toolbox of basic tools together for when you need them.

Happy sorting

Sue Sparkle

How much of my life has been blighted by feelings of inferiority. I am not alone.

One could make a good argument to support the assertion that the vast majority of humanity is similarly afflicted.

We don't all feel inferiority the same way and to the same degree, but there are certain symptoms which could indicate that someone is a fellow sufferer:

Do you look at a maths problem and find that your mind has gone blindingly, panic-strickenly blank?

Do you continually have to tell others what you've achieved; how you single-handedly solved a problem no one else could manage?

Do you deny to yourself and others that you make mistakes or can be wrong sometimes, or have human weaknesses and challenges? Or conversely, inform everyone that you're useless, stupid or rubbish?

Do you use long,  or 'clever' words in your article to try and bolster your ego? (See above paragraph for an example of this practice LOL)

Do you secretly hope the worst for others or continually judge other people by some perfection standard, in order that you will rise a rung or two by comparison on that slippery and uncomfortable ladder of status and ego?

If you have any of these symptoms, life can be an anxious, exhausting and altogether pretty miserable affair.

Here a few suggestions that might help you to drop those inferiority burdens:

1. Understand that life is a journey that you are here to live: to discover and express the real you. That unique, superb creation. You are the only one who can be you. (my personal view is that God created you and is utterly smitten with you. He wants to share that journey with you and build you up, not continually disapprove when you make mistakes) Focus on the BEING rather than the ACHIEVING.

2. If you are feeling inferiority in any form, tell yourself firmly 'I may feel like this (stupid, unable to learn, useless, a failure etc), at the moment, but the truth is that I'm doing fine and I choose to believe the truth.'

3. Every time you find yourself making judgements on other people STOP. It helps me to have an internal picture of two trees, one the the far left and one to the right. One tree is the tree of judgement. The other is the tree of life. You cannot look at both trees at the same time. Tell yourselff that you are turning away from the tree of judgement (If you are judging others, you are judging yourself) Turn away from the tree of judgement and you will be facing the tree of life. Say aloud' I choose life!'

4. Take a few minutes every day to reflect on some of these issues. Count your blessings, and make continual decisions to focus on things outside of yourself. Perhaps listen to the hopes and dreams of others. Want the best for them. Build them up. Do something for the fun of trying them out and not as a gauge of your own worth or achievement.

You might very quickly find that burdens lift and you'll begin to enjoy life and feel optimistic about life. I do hope you will find some of these ideas helpful. Let me know how you get on

Sue Sparkle

How often do people say 'I keep myself to myself'? or ' I've lived here x amount of years and still don't know my neighbours'?

Of course, in this day and age you have to be careful. Neighbours might be funny, suspicious, or their children confrontational, so it's difficult to know quite what to do to begin building a sense of community isn't it?

And yet, we also know that if we want to see the reintroduction of such values as stability, trust, care and strength in our country, it can't just be the Government, police and schools who do all the running. We all have a part to play and our neighbourhoods are the place where we can begin.

"Ask not, what your community can do for you, rather what you can do for your community" !

Here are some suggestions for making small, neighbourly steps that could make a big difference to your local area:

1. Every week, pick up some litter in your street and put it in the bin. YEP, you'll get no thanks to begin with and you might even get laughed at. But maybe it'll inspire others to take an interest. They might begin to take more care with their own litter. They might be inspired to tidy up their gardens. Your simple, unselfish act could bring a glimmer of hope or joy into the lives of people who had just about given up on life. Most importantly, you might find that someone will actually talk to you. What a step forward that could be. A by-product of this new habit is that you could actually feel happier in yourself because you did something out of sheer kindness.

2. Say 'Good Morning' to your neighbours as you come across them in the street. If they don't seem too weird or threatening, ask them about their pets or comment on their nice flower-beds. If you get the brush-off from some, don't take it personally. They might be shy, or frightened, and might need a little more time before they'll trust you. Focus on the successes and realise what a great job you are doing.

3. Get out and clean your car, or spend time in your front garden filling it with beautiful flowers, or pots of flowers and hanging baskets. (You may have to tie your baskets down well with wire so they don't get nicked) Remember, we are only at the beginning of our quest! Be around, so that you can become familiar and say 'hi' to your neighbours

4. If someone's bin gets knocked over, pick it up. If someone's car breaks down, give them a hand. If you have a BBQ, kindly warn your neighbours to take their washing in. Park considerately. Turn your music down. Consider others in your day to day life.

5.If someone new moves into your street, take them a cake or a card and welcome them. Or give a gift of some home-grown produce to the peole next door. What an ice-breaker that can be.

I do hope that some of these ideas are of help to someone. Please let me know how you get on.

SUE SPARKLE

This is an area where you can save so much money you might be happily surprised.

But these hints will not direct you to the cheapo, unethical, tasteless,processed, sugar and fat laden products! (Can you tell I hate them?)

Here are some suggestions that will save your cash, care for the environment, producers, animals - and your health:

Cooking from scratch can be as easy as falling off a log if you spare a few minutes each week to loosely plan your meals for the week. You will find that as you begin to buy and cook this way, you'll wonder how youever ate such horrible convenience stuff in the past, and instead of going out for a meal, you'll want to stay in for a meal.

Here is a sample of our evening meals for the week for the two of us. It may not suit your needs of course, but will give you a starting point.

SUNDAY

Roast Chicken (Free-range),roast potatoes, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower - any vegetables that are in season. Try slicing and roasting an onion or two in the dish. They go beautifully sweet and delicious.

Quick stewed eating apples topped with natural yoghurt

MONDAY 

Chicken Korma  A good quality Korma sauce, such as Pataks, made with the left-over chicken from the roast, and chicken stock made from the carcass, some tinned chick peas, diced potatoes and any leftover veggies from the roast.Served with fluffy rice.

Fresh fruit or cheese and wholewheat crackers. Not sure what crackers are called in the U.S. but they're thin biscuits to go with cheese

TUESDAY

Leek and vegetable chunky broth with any leftover Korma and chickpeas. Served with Chunks of wholewheat bread and maybe some organic cheese

Quick, stove-top rice pudding with a spoon-ful of marmalade or jam.

WEDNESDAY

Salmon fillets or other sustainable fish. (Look in the fish dept for bargain fish) Served with oven fries, slices of lemon and mayonnaise)

Jelly(Jello) made from a sachet of gelatine or animal-free gelatinesubstitute. Simply sprinkle sachets into a small amount of hot water.Stir until well dissolved. Make up to a pint with pure fruit juice.Pour into glasses and leave to set in the fridge (No nasty colouringsand stuff in that jelly)

THURSDAY

Tuna Pasta Made with organic pasta, good tin of mushroom or tomato soup and a tin of salmon and some sweetcorn. Cook the pasta and mix with the tuna and soup and sweetcorn. Top with cheese if likes and grill until melty. Or just heat up in the oven for a while.

Any left-over rice pudding with some stewed fruit

FRIDAY

Organic sausages, potato and carrot mash and onion gravy.

Grilled sliced bananas sprinkled with some demerara sugar

SATURDAY

Egg and chips with baked beans

Free-range eggs, organic baked beans and oven chips (fries)

Home-made, fresh fruit salad.

Although it can be more expensive to buy free-range, organic,  ethical,sustainable etc, If you plan your menus, you'll still save money.

You never need throw food away. And you'll enjoy your food more knowing others didn't have to suffer in the production of it.

Work out the menus you'll need for the week as above. Write this menu list downand stick to the fridge (round the side where it won't look tatty'),or stick on the inside of your pantry or larder.

Next to your menus,put a shopping list and write down all you'll need for your menus.

As the days go by, add items to your shopping list. Remember to add items as you run out too.

On shopping day, simply take your list, somebags and a pencil. Cross off items as you get them. DON'T browse looking for 'bargains and offers' on any other products than the ones on your list. You won't need them and you'll waste money. Remember that you're in charge.

It also could be useful to take a small calculator with you and add up what you spend.

PAT yourself on the back for a good job well done. See your finances stretch as weekby week your money stays in the bank and not in the supermarket coffers.

Good luck, and let me know how you get on.

Is your house shrinking? Or have you never been able to swing a cat with gay abandon? (I love cats, by the way and have never swung one)

Well, it is possible to make your house seem more spacious, easy to clean and generally more lovely to live in by taking small, simple steps that won't cost you a penny, or cent.

Here are some ideas you can get started with. Try a couple out and see what a difference they can make to your home and your state of mind. Don't try to do everything at once, otherwise you may well become overwhelmed and discouraged.

THE GUEST/JUNK ROOM

 Go into your guest/spare/junk room, if you can get through the door! Just imagine how wonderful it would be if that room was clear, tidy and actually ready for a guest.

Keep that image in your mind as often as you can over the next few days. Each time you get ten minutes, go in there and sort one small area.

It is very important to start small. The idea iis NOT to have an all out blitz, but to gradually sort, dejunk and most vitally, to find logical new places for the items you're sorting.

If you have boxes of books, sort into piles of:

1. Love to read or want to read and need to go on a shelf. Get someone to put up the shelf or do It yourself. (In other words Do it your-shelf?

2. Won't read - Put in a box and carry out to the car ready for the thrift shop.

If you have clothes, sort into piles of:

1. WILL wear but need washing and hanging. (If it needs a button sewing on, go and do it NOW).

2. To be honest, it'll never really get worn again - Take out to the car for the thrift shop or recycling.

Now the boxes are gone, remove all other 'won't use' items and dispose of in the same way.

Now all the other items in the room should be jolly useful ones. We need to find a place for them, one by one, in the room where they'll be used.

Sort, tidy and organise each item, cleaning as you go. The idea is to get EVERY item off the floor and the bed of the spare room. Pare down if you have to, make shelves, put baskets in cupboards and closets. Hang things on the inside of cupboards with hooks and fixings.Ironing boards, mops, brushes etc. Other things can go in stackable plastic boxes. LABEL clearly as you go so it's all easy to find.

Your room is probably beginning to look much better. Well done.

Now vacuum the bed and mattress and pop on some clean, fresh bedding. You can cover the bedding with a light blanket or coverlet to act as a dust protector.

Now clean the dresser and mirror. Pop a pretty bowl of pot-pourri on the dresser or chest of drawers. Make sure there is a simple lamp and clock ready for the comfort of your guests. Open the blinds or cutains and air the room.

You can apply these principles to any room in your house. Just remember that slow and steady wins the race. Don't be a perfectionist. Enjoy the journey of discovery.

Good luck - and let me know how you get on.

Sue Sparkle